Tuesday, June 30, 2009


By now, you should know 'Crooky/Crookhaven Heads/Crooksterns bluff' is my local wave. I think of crooky as a quiet place, fair chilled, everyone knows everyone sort of place, yeh?

But this reputation could all change this friday night. Ok, get this, i log onto myspace this evening expecting some light-hearted Michael Jackson jokes and a quiz or two, all being scattered on my bulletin board. Whilst cruising through the archives i see a bulletin with a subject title of 'crooky beach party burra:):):):)'.
As you can imagine, i nearly fell off my chair, i was rather intrigued, so i open the bulletin to find this: "everyone invited this friday will be good :):):):) fire music and lots of people:)".

Not only is it not the right place to hold a party, but also just completely disrespectful. Its not the right place as it is wayyyy outta' town, got no power for this supposed 'music', and crooky has been working hard to get a good name for itself with break-ins at an all time low and good sessions at an all time high.

On a lighter note, i got this yesterday, woop!

Monday, June 29, 2009


Ok, so by now, i guess you're all kinda wondering why this blog is named 'Cuntface'?

I guess your all kinda feeling like a young canine that's been left out on a cold night to fend for itself? Or maybe you're feeling like your girlfriend has just sent you a message saying 'Guess what?! oh, nah, dont worry, i'll tell you later' but not actually telling you later, just leaving you hangin'.

Well the man behind the scenes at 'Cuntface' isn't like that at all! I havn't completely neglected you, or left you hangin', i guess i've just been waiting for the right time to tell you all.

Well, here it is. Another set just rolled through, everyone is amped to be out in some good conditions at the local reefbreak, Brenden Newton is on hand to deal out some funny stories as per usual, everyone is chatting away, talking shit, talking pits. Suddenly Brendo has a brainwave, "Lets make a movie, doesnt have to be sick, just all the guys, havin' fun, scoring waves". Everyone seems to like the idea, but the usual question soon pops up. "What would we call it?". Without even a second to spare, Brendo says "Lets call it CUNTFACEEEE!". Everyone stops talking for a second then cracks up laughing, as it is unusual that Brendo would swear. Brendo then continues to say "I dont know why people take swearing so seriously, i reckon its heaps funny!!!". The crew then discuss naming a movie 'Cuntface', and the surfing continues.

Moral of the post, The name 'Cuntface' isn't there to offend you, nor an attempt to degrade the human body. Its just there in memory of quality times, surfing, having fun.

I'll leave you with an old shot of Brendo at the local.

Sunday, June 28, 2009


This morning was a tough one. Planned to get up at 7, which then felt way too early, so planned to get up at 8, then before i knew it, i had wezz standing at my door saying something along the lines of "c'mon brahh". After wezz had gone through some recent pics, i was up out of bed and cheif was driving us down to crooky.

Got down there to see some amazing 1ft'ers :|

So out came the camera to give it a crack anyway. Young Jack Ardler (local indigenous comedian and shralper) came out soon after with the usual crew of reuben, red, and reds brother. Jack Ardler was busting out smart arse comments towards red quicker than Jack McCarron can uncross his legs at a Blackrock Bodyboarders comp. Red was left with nothing to say but "F**K OFF C**T" and a swing at wezz after wezz mounted on the rear of him brokeback mountain spec.

Anyway, over and out 7:04p.m.

Wezz Jones, Suiting Up


Jack Ardler

Wezz Jones, In Transit

Saturday, June 27, 2009


Last night was a shindig at Bosom Beach in Currarong. The scene was wild, every car that turned up felt the need to do a burnout, while playing shit music.

Firstly the cops turned up which led to many youths fleding the scene, except for first time party go-er Ryan Lay, who just casual stood there which resulted in drinks being taken. Soon after everyone was back at the fire (which wouldnt have been possible without my presence) and enjoying themselves to a certain degree.

Moments later i was laying on the deck next to the fire copping abuse from numerous bystanders, with quotes like "your gunna get the f**k burnt outta' ya", "get the f**k up you stupid c**t" and many other rude words that cant be repeated on this blog.

Fast foward and hour or so, and there was easily 20+ people sitting around this fire enjoy the heat that i was previously enjoying. I think they realised that i wasn't so dumb after all.

The night ended with myself and partner in crime, Josh Cheadle, borrowing some push bikes and riding a solid 23km home, in just under 2 hours, good effort id say!

Thursday, June 25, 2009


The latest victim to upmarketing themselves is Jack McCarron with reports of a MSN name something similar to: "JackMac=roots on sunday". Word on the town is that he is going to a music concert on Sunday. Last time i checked, a music concert wasn't a brothel, feel free to prove me wrong.

Dont go outside Jack, your tickets might fall off.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Completely, absolutely, utterly blew it today!
focus issues, rookie error. anywho, heres what could have been.

5ft of boot glory.



Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Ok, ill set the scene. Here i am sitting on my computer, trying to do some myspacing, msning, and music listening per se, basically, just minding my own business yeh? When all of a sudden i get James O'Regan whinging to me, saying that the shower at crooky (my local) is the worst shower of all time. He starts by saying its only 3ft tall (when in reality its an easy 6fter), then he goes on to tell me that its too painful to shower under it. Now, i know what your thinking, your thinking this grommet needs to pay some respect to his local shower right? but cop this, he isnt even a local!

rant over

peace out A-town!


Well, i checked the charts last night, it read something similar to this, "YOUR LOCAL WILL BE PUMPING!!!". So im thinking "oh fuck, i've gotta work". So then im hoping its a hoax swell like every other one.

I get a message this morning saying "Big *****. King Corpse more out, wig central". So now im at work, not getting out of the place for another 7 hours, and its deadset pumptown, so all day at work im just trying not to think about the tubes that are are being driven through.

Finally i get home, jump on old faithful (pushbike), and head down to ******, in hope of there still being good waves. I get there, a slight cross-shore breeze is blowing, the tide has risen, and to put it bluntly, im devo.

Little nugget

Barnsey Scurrying across the rocks

Saturday, June 20, 2009


Last night i reminded myself quite well as to why i dont drink vodka.
Probly because poison isnt made to be consumed or something to that effect.
Ended up something like this picture below, which im glad was after id finished it all.
p.s. did you know that you can burst blood vessels around yours eyes from spewin too hard? well i do now, ouch!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Julian Wolkenstein, really interesting photographer, his style is so unique compered to other photogs out there. Godo yourself a favor and check out his site.


Tuesday, June 16, 2009


I recently took advantage of the sale grand flavour is having at the moment. They are doing a buy one get one free sale, and the good thing is, the prices are already reduced, so ideally, you are getting 2 for the price of less than one!

I myself got a couple jumpers which arrived today after being posted on monday (hows that for good service!), will come in handy this winter, its gonna' be a cold one!

Sale finished 8pm sunday night, sucks to be you who didnt know sooner.

Some warm cotton

Sweet fit

Monday, June 15, 2009


This dude is deadset amazing!

I think its funny how bad surfers are usually accompanied by bad vibes out in the water, always mouthing off and dropping in on bodyboarders and even sometimes other surfers. Then on the other hand, good surfers who rip, are usually good blokes who dont drop in and respect fellow watermen. Respect.

This video is of Ozzie Wright in Doped Youth. Sooo good!
Hows The Air @ 1:42!!!!!

Sunday, June 14, 2009


Saturday morning started heading down to the bluff nice and early with a chance of some fun waves on hand.

There was a bit of a cold bite in the air, so lighting a fire was only 2nd nature. Stood around that for a good hour watching the sun come and and some fun waves roll through. Wezz got out there soon after and was closely followed by matt. Enjoy.


Wezz Stokin.


Matt did this disturbing poo prior to hitting the juice.



Wezz Rev.

Matt Carve.

Wezz Rev.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


Lets start by saying, tradies are the absolute backbone of this modern day society.

You might say tradies are just high school dropouts or bogans looking for a bit of coin, but they are truly alot more.

Tradies work hard in usually pretty ordinary conditions and, unlike uni students (wankers), dole bludgers (name says it) and public servants (lazy fucks), actually contribute something to society.

- Commodores
- Flannel shirts
- Carlton draught
- Toolboxes
- Aussie battlers
- Stuyvie classics.

Friday, June 5, 2009


Went to the presets on wednesday night, was an enjoyful event. The train trip up was pretty amusing i thought, consisted of listening to footy chants being sung by jocks the whole way up and i even managed to see a tackle :/ also was having a good chuckle while watching all little juvy sluts wigging out and getting lucky.

The concert itself was pretty fun i guess, cunts on me shoulders, bit of high-fives, bit of "omg! havnt seen you in ages!!!!", and some $9.90 smirnoffs ;) Also rags even managed to pull some chubby chick (fill me in).

Anyway, its friday night now, and im heading to bed soon, may catch some waves in the morning if im lucky, ill leave you with this shot from a couple weeks back. Also, ive just figure that if you click on the pics, you can see them at uploaded size. BYEBYE!!!!

Matt Young 'Getting Air'

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


In need of new keyboard, mines fucked hey. Found this old shot, dont see tubes like that anymore.


people are heaps mature hey.

Monday, June 1, 2009


Well i was at crooky this afternoon about to jump off the rocks just minding my own business when this set approached, no time to run, so i either had to jump and maybe make it, or just stand there and get fucked up, so i thought id try jump.

I ended up getting pushed back along rocks a couple meters, then got back up to see a wave about a foot bigger, so tryed jumping again, got dragged about 20 meters along barnicle rocks, shreding my arse.